165 Comments
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Neil Daly's avatar

I have seen food you people wouldn’t believe, pickled herring tacos on fire in a microwave, lumps of cheese food refusing to melt on a cauliflower tortilla festering on a hot plate, all of those visions will be lost, like dripping sweat evaporating off of a stovetop burner. Time to puke.(apologies to the late Rutger Hauer)

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Van Ivey's avatar

I’m sure Nadler and Raskin unzip their human skin suit at night before bedtime.

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SuezCanal's avatar

OMG, I laughed out loud at that

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The Ungovernable's avatar

“Lumps of cheese food” sounds like a great description for a politician

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Agent 1-4-9's avatar

Or if politicians started a band. "Ladies and gentlemen, here's Jerry Nadler and the Lumps of Cheese Food!"

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Brian DeLeon's avatar

Oh , Chris! You had me in stitches! The cuckoo clock taco is my favorite, and apropos, don’t you think?

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Richard Parker's avatar

I saw them open for The Who in 1983

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K2's avatar

LOL!

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NanaW's avatar

Dave Barry would say it’s the new name for his band. Lol

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Just An American's avatar

As an ultrafan of those movies since my youth: Bravo sir.

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Neil Daly's avatar

Thank you for appreciating it. I love the book too!

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Hana C. Waumbek's avatar

Hey, pickled herring is great! (If one is part-Viking.)

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Neil Daly's avatar

I like it too and had it in Germany where it was especially tasty but it sounded weird in a taco.

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James Bernard Shepard's avatar

You're a dastard cook!!

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Tristan J Pinnock's avatar

I think those “noodles” are shredded cheese.

At least, I’m hoping that it’s cheese.

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Valerie's avatar

Yes. And I’m pretty sure the sauce is hot sauce, not thousand island. Thousand island is for fish tacos.

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Mike Means's avatar

The cheapest fake cheese you can buy. Maybe RFK can help get the real stuff.

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erin's avatar
Jun 4Edited

Not cheese. "Cheese food." Meaning it only resembles cheese and food. :-)

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AndyinBC's avatar

One suspects that the ONLY connection many, if not most, of the modern substitutions for real food is the label on the package.

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K2's avatar

^^This!^^

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Richard Seager's avatar

That's what I thought as well. But industrially shredded.

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Queen Hotchibobo's avatar

That may be shredded cheese, but where’s the beef!?!?

Whoever heard of a taco with nothing but cheese, lettuce, and tomato stuff? That’s the salad my son always leaves off.

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Todd Waltze's avatar

Nobody even mentioned that tacos are made with soft corn tortillas, NOT FLOUR (unless you live in Washington DC).

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Occam's avatar

Great point. Corn tortillas ftw.

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Rikard's avatar

Hehehehe - this is what they get, hiring Slick-Willie fast-talkers from the same marketing schools!

Two years ago one of our parties' leaders tried to make himself "folksy" and "just one of ya'll". Problem no. 1 he's a Turk. Problem no. 2 his predecessor was the Swedish eq. of Kamala Harris, competence and likeability-wise. Problem no. 3: the dish he alleged to have made is called "Raggmunk" (Shaggy Monk). It's a potato-pancake; use a Julienne to make really slim strips of potato, just 5mm or so and mix this mess with rye/barley flour and a little water maybe until you can shape rough pancakes from it. While mixing, dribble chopped-up pre-fried salted pork diced really really fine. Then pan-fry the Raggmunkar in lard - never use oil, they'll stick to the pan like the taxman to your wallet.

Eaten with lingonberry paste/jam, and some dark lager or beer or milk, usually. Some people add diced yellow onions to it - Heresy! The onions are to be sliced and pan-fried on the side, or made into a creamed onion sauce.

Anyway. This is one the ur-dishes over here. Rich or poor, we've all had them and liked them, because the optional dish was being hungry.

You think this moslem Turk wanted to chomp down when offered the real thing and not the pork-free nonsense he pretended to cook? Heck no he didn't. And about a year after, having led his party to below 3% of the vote in polls, he was made to resign.

Funny thing 1: His replacement has a long history of doing business-deals that's an Ångström from outright financial frauds. Not a good look.

Funny thing two: The Center party is allegedly the world's richest party when you compare assets-per-registered-member.

Not so funny thing: Every party leader in our Parliament save the Communists is a chartered WEF-member.

Sorry for rambling but this typed while making morning coffee, feeding the dogs, preventing one dog from gnawing her wounded fore-paws, making the beds and letting the chickens out.

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Babs's avatar

My throat gash needs shallot pickle taco.

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K2's avatar

You guys are so funny!

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Ryan Gardner's avatar

All it have say is laugh my ass off. That was awesome. You're welcome in my home any day.

Classic, Chris. It really must be an adventure in that 6 inch universe between your ears.

I can relate.

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K2's avatar

Like!

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robren72's avatar

Not to disparage anything you were saying, but I don't see the noodles in the tacos...not even in the close-up. All I see is shredded cheese and lettuce.

None of it looks particularly authentic tho. 😁

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Chris Bray's avatar

Lower left quadrant, the...pale waxy thing? Maybe soy cheese.

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BigWobbles's avatar

This is known as “Three Cheese Mexican” —- packaged and labeled as such in the grocery store. The sauce is probably bottled Cholula, which is watery on impact with wet lettuce. Nevertheless, this abortion has exactly zero resemblance to a real taco: the melange of pico di gallo (dominant ingredient in the northern figured “taco” with black beans and big pieces of canned jalapeño) is an inedible mess that makes Taco Bell look like cocina autentica antigua Azteca.

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Mitch's avatar

lol, hilarious

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robren72's avatar

I think it's supposed to be colby-jack cheese shreds...definitely not authentic.

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Valerie's avatar

It’s gotta be the packaged “4 cheese Mexican blend’. Probably the reduced fat version because it looks like plastic.

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Richard Parker's avatar

Ah!

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Richard Parker's avatar

....for the win. Not even to Taco Bell standard.

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Lydia Lozano's avatar

It is an insult to Taco Bell, where the tacos at least look like tacos.

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Zorost's avatar

I thought it was mozzarella cheese mixed in with the velveeta.

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Mitch's avatar

julienned jicama maybe? either way, it's not a real taco

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PhDBiologistMom's avatar

I think it’s cheese, that “blend” that includes both orange and pale tints. That in itself is not terrible. (I have to confess to buying the giant bags of grated “Mexican cheese blend” at Costco myself, https://www.costcobusinessdelivery.com/kirkland-signature-mexican-style-four-cheese-blend%2C-shredded%2C-2.5-lbs%2C-2-ct.product.100316957.html)

More concerned about the green goo that presumably purports to be guacamole.

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Mitch's avatar

I've come around to that interpretation as well.

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MR's avatar

I thought it was jicama, too. But I couldn’t think of the word julienned so I didn’t want to sound silly.

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nymusicdaily's avatar

bean sprouts! the authentic mexican kind

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Lydia Lozano's avatar

What kind of a monster puts jicama on a taco? For shame if that is what it is.

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Michael L's avatar

There's a limited amount of space in a taco. If you want some jicama, put it on the side with the radish, not in the taco!

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Lydia Lozano's avatar

Yes. Taco real estate is precious. Jicama is to be served on the side with a squirt of lime and a dusting of chile powder, and/or Tajin.

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Lilia Rosales's avatar

“Anyway, now I’ve been in the kitchen for twenty minutes, and my wife is sighing heavily and not daring to ask“

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 the way I pictured this scene in the Bray family home, made my heart laugh. Hilarious post. Thank you for the good laughs.

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K2's avatar

Like!

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Kevan Hudson's avatar

Bray Taco for the win!

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Alan Hodge's avatar

I was helpless to read further after “clever whatyacalls on the Twatter.” Guy should be writing standup.

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CB's avatar

Not to mention "human food behaviors." Makes you think David Icke is right--they're reptiles in human skin suits.

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Michael L's avatar

I should have known that someone else had already made that comment!

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K2's avatar

Like!

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mileytheduchess's avatar

The left is hopeless, but dangerous.

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Mark In Houston's avatar

This pathetic effort by "Maryland Taco King" Jamie Raskin (a non-sequitur on food if there ever was one) seemingly was done in concert with California Cheese King Eric Swalwell's equally pathetic X video showing him eating "chicken tacos" in his congressional office. These guys are beyond misguided - and as you suggest are following in the culinary footsteps of Chuckwagon Schumer and his lessons on how not to grill burgers.

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Valoree Dowell's avatar

First tell Schumer to light the grill. I certainly hope that was not (more horrors) a gas grill… At least someone pressed the brand new “just a guy in my backyard” tshirt so the fold lines didn’t give it away.

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The Great Santini's avatar

🤣

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Lydia Lozano's avatar

Just one more piece of proof that many Democrats are faux humans.

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Kevin Krause's avatar

Overheard at the Biden house, hey you, the dog-faced pony soldier oncologist, I'll have the Egg and Green Tea Taco. Oh and throw in a Bird House for good measure but please go light on the salt. And while you are at it, please bring some for Corn Pop and my co-worker the Amtrak ticket taker.

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Fukitol's avatar

Haha yeah I've been making the same joke for ... I guess over a year now. But I'm not really joking anymore. I'm convinced. These "people" don't eat food. I don't know what they do eat (/imbibe/absorb/etc.). The blood of unbaptized infants? Adrenochrome? Reconstituted loosh concentrate? No idea. But it's not food.

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K2's avatar

Defiinitely the loosh concentrate!

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Just An American's avatar

Thank you for confirming my long held theory that although these people are technically humans....they sure make me scratch my head and wonder. I would expect no less from Jamie "The Rat" Raskin. I made (Editors note: No you didn't, the woman did) carne asada street tacos last night, and it's only three ingredients: Carne asada top round or other small cut beef chunks, small white corn tortillas, and fresh cilantro. Lime and white onion to your preference. The only thing you have to cook is the beef and it takes 5 minutes. Lit-erally a cave man could do it, and I have. I guess I will add that to the very long list of things I would expect NORMAL people to be able to accomplish, but that we don't require of our supposed statesmen.

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Brian Nelson's avatar

One of my favorite “Beavis and Butthead” episodes was when President Clinton was coming to the school.

Principal and Vice were discussing what to do with B&B…

Principal, “we will be fine, those two never show up…”

Vice: “Oh No! Tomorrow is Taco Day!!!”

That still cracks me up!

bsn

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alwayscurious's avatar

So, the greatly to be feared singularity is upon us, but the "amazing" power of AI can't represent modest tacos for those who don't recognize the real thing?

And they want AI to run medicine and the country, crazy.

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