Replicant Caught By Blade Runner After Attempt to Simulate Human Cuisine

Without in any way bothering with the sub-toddler political message, I invite you to feast your eyes on these delicious tacos:

Computer, ENHANCE!

Are those noodles? With…iceberg and…French dressing? “Nurse, we’ll be needing more sedatives for Mr. Bray.”

That looks almost as satisfying as the pouch of freeze-dried squash I took out on the trail last week. It’s like they thought they had a clever idea so they sent someone out to get a picture of “taco,” but someone on staff had to Google it to try to get the general idea. “Have someone capture an image of an authentic peasant food so we can do one of their clever whaddya-calls on the Twatter.”

Not since Chuck Schumer “grilled” some “cheeseburgers” have we seen such a poor attempt at a simulation of the category called “human food behaviors.”

Really, do politicians feed on some kind of plastic-bagged alien nutritive mush through a zippered gash in their throats, such that they have no actual idea what kind of things the human meat objects ingest on earth? Anyway, now I’ve been in the kitchen for twenty minutes, and my wife is sighing heavily and not daring to ask.

There are more. So many more. I tried to do one with the cat, but she had too much dignity. If I can perfect these, I may have to run for office.

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