43 Comments

The media-run state and the state-run media should cut costs and save time and combine the SOTU with the Grammys.

I wanna see Uncle Joe surrounded by a diverse cast of twerkers while handing out prizes for Best Struggle Session and Best Preachy Lecture by a Multimillionaire, with Hunter hosting the afterparty.

They all have the same thoughts and beliefs anyway, they all worship the same god (the one in the mirror), so why not just swap out the usual inane lyrics for a laundry list of the Dear Leader's many accomplishments?

American culture may be crap, but our propaganda is to die for!

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Brilliant, and efficient. Throw in the Emmys, the Oscars, and the next inauguration.

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Think we could get all shoved into halftime at the Super Bowl?

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Lmao. Twerking!

At this point, I'm pretty sure they'd ask for copies after the propaganda was nailed to their foreheads.

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To give the man his due, it is possible half the women in his admin are not women.

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You beat me to it.

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Lol...Chris just delivers the good stuff and leaves us the low hanging fruit..

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....yeah, and at this rate, by next week, we'll all be full blown fruitarians....

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Also, half the men in his administration are women too!! Pipe Admiral Rachel Levine on deck!

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Yeah. At first I thought what an idiot then I realized that half of the women may not actually think they are women...or maybe half are men who think they are women...or maybe he just f’d up. For f’sake I’m so f’in confused.

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Only a biologist could confirm that. Or Bill Nye. I think he also wears a lab coat, so close enough.

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Bill the shill

Could not confirm

An apple from a tree

Yet with all the grace

Of a pig on skates

He confirms his string

For a bit of lace.

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😂😂

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Yes. 😂

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I asked, on Facebook, when Obama was president how watching the SOTU was any different than watching "Keeping Up with the Kardashians." That was not well received. Little did I know that I was being optimistic.

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This year will be more like “Night of the Living Dead.”

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😂

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The comparison between Brezhnev and Biden has not escaped me.

A great Soviet joke: Brezhnev toddles to the podium at the 1980 Olympics, slowly unfolds some papers, and begins to read his speech:

"O... " (long pause)

O..." ( another long pause)

"O.. "

And an aide rushes up to Brezhnev and whispers,

"Comrade Chairman Brezhnev, you are reading the Olympic rings!"

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Oh, yes. Everyone gearing up for the next round of Bidenese that we get to pass around and decode. There’s a 30% chance we’ll all have palm marks on our foreheads (if you’re gentle enough to use your hand and not a brick wall) from frustration.

In totally unrelated news (harhar) my kids watch this cartoon and I used to think it was ridiculous. Until I watched this episode. It’s now officially my favorite show.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ms6Ba_NiboU

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"I feel like a giant udder of stupidity, bloated and bursting, waiting for someone - ANYONE - to milk me." ROFL!

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It’s not stupid if it works! (The Biden family motto?) 😂

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fauci did not retire until in his 90s, biden going for same ... trunp closely approaching ... this is no country for young man.

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Pelosi, Feinstein, Steny Hoyer, McConnell....

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Brezhnev, Andropov, Chernenko, Gorbachev.

Is there any difference?

Fun fact, Gorbachev was the only one who didn't spend the last several months of his rule actually dead!

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My senior year in high school, I was the organizer of the Comrade Chernenko death pool –– a dollar a date, pick the date that his death is acknowledged, winner gets it all. I don't remember who won.

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Wow sounds like you went to a really advanced high school. Won’t tell you what I was up to in my senior year of high school and since it was well before cell phones and social media I have plausible deniability from all claims.

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I went to a totally normal high school, but it was hard to avoid noticing a whole country playing hide-the-pea with their top guy.

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Fauci FORMALLY, publically announced that he would retire at the end of 2020, by Dec.31, when he turned 80....

In the last 3 years, Fauci has become a multi-millionaire, thanks to his Moderna investments & involvements.....

The Covid1984 vaxxx is the FIRST and ONLY commercial Moderna product to be marketed in 10 years.....

If any of these TRUE FACTS can be disproven, please, I'm listening, and open to correction....

And yes, I do find this all VERY FUNNY! WHAT, ME WORRY?....

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I feel like there’s a 30% chance he will think he’s going for ice cream

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"Mommy Jill says if I say all the words on the screen, I can have pudding cup."

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It's difficult to know where the satire ends and the ailing superpower in decline begins.

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You never know. Brandon may get hit by the Holy Ghost and start speaking in tongues again, like he did in that speech where he said, "America can be defined in a single word: aboendineknhenjsjhfjntl..."

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I think he means "blindly" not "boldly"

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He may mean that his bowels will surge. TBD.

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Ah yes, The Great Uniter in action again.

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Dude.....you should stop reading right here, but you obviously haven't because you are reading this.....

Chris, if you are EVER in the Atlanta area(hopefully not in August, cause is heinous and hell like), come hang out at my clinic and shoot the shit with me.

You are HILARIOUS. I am so glad that Tucker interviewed you and I started reading your columns...they are always epic to me an universally entertaining.

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I was at Fort Benning through multiple Augusts, and I second that. But would happily take you up on that invitation.

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Your writing is some of the funniest, snarkiest stuff to come along in a long time.

Keep it up, you have fans!!

August in GA surely sucks ass all day every day.....

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Chris, not sure if it is on your agenda, but would like to hear your views on the CJR article by Gerth. Plenty of other grist for your mill, just curious if you are planning to opine on this one.

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I haven't been able to finish reading it, but maybe. Mostly my response is eye-rolling at a deep investigation that manages to figure out that the whole sick show of the dossier and the media playing along -- pee parties in Moscow! -- was bullshit. I mean, GASP!

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He has my vote. Did you see how he bravely shot down the Chinese spy balloon after it made its way across the entire country? Good thing he waited. There were definitely no safe, wide open spots in Montana to down the balloon. There are people everywhere here, everywhere I tell you. Don't believe our evil Republican governor if he tells you any different. Every square inch is covered, like a great big mosh pit at a punk rock concert, only full of asses in Levi's, tough heads in cowboy hats, and cattle. It could have hit the Yellowstone ranch and you can imagine the range war that could ignite between Kevin Costner and those guys who own the casino. Yep, safest thing was to wait until it could be dropped into the Atlantic where it couldn't hurt anybody or be found easily.

Rest assured, General Milley kept his Chinese counterpart informed of our plans the entire time.

I'm so glad the adults are back in charge.

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"Flexing" is a strange verb to use to describe a man who's in his 80s. "Hit" in the subhead does fit with his brawling rhetoric, though.

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I'd say that's a 90% chance of him forgetting his name....where he is....what he's doing 🤣🤣🤣

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