43 Comments
Feb 5, 2023·edited Feb 5, 2023Liked by Chris Bray

The media-run state and the state-run media should cut costs and save time and combine the SOTU with the Grammys.

I wanna see Uncle Joe surrounded by a diverse cast of twerkers while handing out prizes for Best Struggle Session and Best Preachy Lecture by a Multimillionaire, with Hunter hosting the afterparty.

They all have the same thoughts and beliefs anyway, they all worship the same god (the one in the mirror), so why not just swap out the usual inane lyrics for a laundry list of the Dear Leader's many accomplishments?

American culture may be crap, but our propaganda is to die for!

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To give the man his due, it is possible half the women in his admin are not women.

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Feb 5, 2023Liked by Chris Bray

I asked, on Facebook, when Obama was president how watching the SOTU was any different than watching "Keeping Up with the Kardashians." That was not well received. Little did I know that I was being optimistic.

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Feb 6, 2023·edited Feb 6, 2023Liked by Chris Bray

The comparison between Brezhnev and Biden has not escaped me.

A great Soviet joke: Brezhnev toddles to the podium at the 1980 Olympics, slowly unfolds some papers, and begins to read his speech:

"O... " (long pause)

O..." ( another long pause)

"O.. "

And an aide rushes up to Brezhnev and whispers,

"Comrade Chairman Brezhnev, you are reading the Olympic rings!"

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Oh, yes. Everyone gearing up for the next round of Bidenese that we get to pass around and decode. There’s a 30% chance we’ll all have palm marks on our foreheads (if you’re gentle enough to use your hand and not a brick wall) from frustration.

In totally unrelated news (harhar) my kids watch this cartoon and I used to think it was ridiculous. Until I watched this episode. It’s now officially my favorite show.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ms6Ba_NiboU

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Feb 5, 2023Liked by Chris Bray

fauci did not retire until in his 90s, biden going for same ... trunp closely approaching ... this is no country for young man.

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Feb 5, 2023Liked by Chris Bray

I feel like there’s a 30% chance he will think he’s going for ice cream

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It's difficult to know where the satire ends and the ailing superpower in decline begins.

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You never know. Brandon may get hit by the Holy Ghost and start speaking in tongues again, like he did in that speech where he said, "America can be defined in a single word: aboendineknhenjsjhfjntl..."

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Feb 5, 2023Liked by Chris Bray

I think he means "blindly" not "boldly"

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Feb 5, 2023Liked by Chris Bray

Ah yes, The Great Uniter in action again.

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Dude.....you should stop reading right here, but you obviously haven't because you are reading this.....

Chris, if you are EVER in the Atlanta area(hopefully not in August, cause is heinous and hell like), come hang out at my clinic and shoot the shit with me.

You are HILARIOUS. I am so glad that Tucker interviewed you and I started reading your columns...they are always epic to me an universally entertaining.

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Chris, not sure if it is on your agenda, but would like to hear your views on the CJR article by Gerth. Plenty of other grist for your mill, just curious if you are planning to opine on this one.

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He has my vote. Did you see how he bravely shot down the Chinese spy balloon after it made its way across the entire country? Good thing he waited. There were definitely no safe, wide open spots in Montana to down the balloon. There are people everywhere here, everywhere I tell you. Don't believe our evil Republican governor if he tells you any different. Every square inch is covered, like a great big mosh pit at a punk rock concert, only full of asses in Levi's, tough heads in cowboy hats, and cattle. It could have hit the Yellowstone ranch and you can imagine the range war that could ignite between Kevin Costner and those guys who own the casino. Yep, safest thing was to wait until it could be dropped into the Atlantic where it couldn't hurt anybody or be found easily.

Rest assured, General Milley kept his Chinese counterpart informed of our plans the entire time.

I'm so glad the adults are back in charge.

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Feb 6, 2023·edited Feb 6, 2023

"Flexing" is a strange verb to use to describe a man who's in his 80s. "Hit" in the subhead does fit with his brawling rhetoric, though.

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I'd say that's a 90% chance of him forgetting his name....where he is....what he's doing 🤣🤣🤣

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