There Are No Americans at the Airport

the cultural style of the american "expert," 2023

Some of you people misunderstand. Don’t worry, experts will explain!

On September 8, New Mexico Governor Michelle Lujan Grisham issued an executive order forbidding citizens from carrying guns in Bernalillo County — which includes Albuquerque, the state’s biggest city — for thirty days, even in the case of law-abiding citizens who have government-issued concealed carry permits. Observers quickly suggested that the governor had exceeded her authority by denying citizens the constitutionally protected right to bear arms, but fortunately an expert was on hand to explain that governors akshully have unlimited authority — to do “basically anything” — in an emergency:

See, it says “Ph.D.” after the name, so this is correct. Also, talking about constitutional rights is very misogynistic, and puts a “woman lawmaker” at risk:

So there it is. Case closed! It is very helpful when experts explain things to us. Also, a governor is a “lawmaker” who now creates the laws, in addition to having unlimited authority to suspend constitutional rights, so update your conceptual map of the government accordingly. The three branches of government are named Michelle.

The denouement was inevitable, as the Bernalillo County sheriff, the Albuquerque police chief, the Bernalillo County district attorney, and the attorney general of New Mexico publicly declared that they wouldn’t enforce or defend an unconstitutional order. Protesters rallied in Albuquerque, openly carrying a bunch of guns, and the police didn’t arrest them. The end.

So a thing happened, people questioned it, an important expert defended it as flawless and unquestionable, and then the thing blew up — as everyone always knew it would.

This is America in 2023:

The experts unequivocally defend the flawlessness of X, and then X collapses.

That’s it. That’s what we’re living through.

Akshully, experts say the Biden economy is the best we’ve ever had! Akshully, experts say the Covid-19 vaccines are 100% safe and effective! Akshully, Ukraine’s victory is inevitable, and there’s no point even discussing peace! Akshully….

If an expert says it, it’s probably wrong. (If this expert says it, run.) We know this. We see it every day. The mystery in our journey through this appalling landscape is that zombies still wander the plains, emailing you articles from the Huffington Post to let you know that Dr. Fauci says masks work so why aren’t you wearing one at the supermarket. The same question occurs to us all:

How can they not see?

“This time, Lucy will allow me to kick the football.”