My Bladder is Full, but I'm Unable to Take Action in the Absence of a Thoughtfully Articulated National Policy on Peeing
The World Health Organization has issued a very very serious, brow-furrowing “Global status report on physical activity.” It says things like this: “The COVID-19 pandemic revealed the vital importance of regular physical activity for both mental and physical health.” Please excuse my language, but WHY DID THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC REVEAL THE VITAL IMPORTANCE OF REGULAR PHYSICAL ACTIVITY, YOU ABSOLUTELY ENORMOUS ASSHOLES? The relentless advocates of lockdowns, the “stay home, stay safe” experts, want you to do the opposite of everything they’ve been saying for the last two and a half years. Be safe, everyone, stay on the cou— no, wait, get up off the couch!
Weirdly, trust in experts is declining.
Here’s the whole report, in case you hate yourself and want to hurt your brain:
On the topic of elite derangement and the implosion of trust in expertise, the WHO makes it clear that government must enable people to exercise. “The COVID-19 pandemic has shown that physical activity must be a core component of public policy, with all countries ensuring provision of equitable physical activity opportunities for all.” See, you can’t get down on the floor and do some push-ups without a national push-up policy and infrastructure. We don’t have equitable distribution of push-up facilities, ‘cause some people are too poor to have the ground. Tomorrow’s headlines today: “Government Develops New ‘Sidewalk’ Innovation to Allow Walking in Neighborhoods.”
Here’s a very important chart from the introduction:
“You wanna take a walk around the neighborhood?”
“Stand by, I’ll check with the prime minister on the current national walking policy!”
National policy on walking.
Get your graduate degree in public health, kids, so you can make important contributions as an expert.
But Chris, it is irresponsible just to take a walk! Not without first consulting the experts, conducting a risk-assessment, hiring Robin DeAngelo and Ibram Kendi to train you on anti-racist walking (remember, *everything*, including walking, is either racist or anti-racist!), consulting the EPA to assess the ecological impact of your carbon emissions if you are breathing heavily, etc. It's called being a good citizen, and everyone can afford this lifestyle, though for the ignorant working-class laborers, they will have to learn to code or get training in community activism, so they can get a real job doing important work for 6-figures or more. Then we can all live in a safe and equitable word, where we are permitted to go for a walk after making sure we are doing so equitably and sustainably!
I thought getting in shape and improving physical strength were indicators of right wing extremism? Wasn't that part of the narrative a few months ago?
The WHO says it's OK to exercise now...what a relief. 😅