How Does It Feel to Know That All the Other Girls Are Prettier and Skinnier Than You

the cultural roots of the democratic national convention

In her new book about the history of reality television, Cue the Sun!, Emily Nussbaum describes the habits and practices of late-stage “reality” production: “planting seeds,” “doing therapy,” and “doing a little puppeteering.” A bachelorette had her first date with the bachelor, and then a producer rushed over to ask her questions: Didn’t you feel so excited? Couldn’t you just absolutely feel your heart racing? They would keep asking questions until the bachelorette got it through her thick skull, and then they turned on the camera. Oh, I was just so excited, I could feel my heart racing!

When a contestant didn’t get the hint, reality show producers could build in the correct emotional response through the use of “frankenbites” — assembled sound bites:

Like rats in a Skinner Box, reality TV producers on particularly sleazy shows got instant rewards for manipulating the cast into acts of hyperemotional display:

On the first season of The Bachelor, the first night of production started with endless cocktails, limited food, and a night shoot that ran until morning. Drunk, starved, sleep-deprived, and then increasingly isolated in a carefully closed environment, the bachelorettes could take comfort in the presence of a wonderfully supportive crew, who were always ready to get them another drink and have discussions with them about their emotions.

Then there was the night the producer Sarah Shapiro talked the bachelorette Jessica Holcomb into the exit interview she didn’t want to do, after the bachelor rejected her and sent her home. Shapiro took Holcomb aside and, in Nussbaum’s description, “turned the screws” until Holcomb burst into tears for the camera. Later, interviewing Holcomb, Nussbaum found out what the producer had said to her: “You’ve been very honest about all the girls here being so much prettier than you and skinnier than you and better than you. How does it feel to know that you were right?” The result: compelling television, deeply emotional and wonderfully authentic.

So.

The Democratic National Convention hasn’t made the slightest sense. The Martha’s Vineyard resident Michelle Obama gave a speech denouncing people who have too much money. Bernie Sanders blasted the filthy billionaire class and promised to crush the disgusting rich pigs, then left the stage for the next speaker, JB Pritzker.

There was a wonderfully emotional speech about the monsters who seethe and rage to tear wedding bands off of lesbian fingers:

Everyone was very mad that JD Vance was so sick and disgusting that he dared to go to Yale, which is something that only a twisted freak would ever do.

And…this?

What? Watch it with closed captioning, so you can watch the nonsensical noises go rolling by:

There was no logic to any of it, and — for example — no thoughts to share about the endless escalation of the proxy war in Ukraine. I know I just wrote a sentence that refers to the Democratic National Convention in the past tense, but let’s leave it that way and consider it a wish.

The obvious point was to hit a series of emotional triggers, without regard to coherence or order. I MADE YOU WITH A TURKEY BASTER, LITTLE BUDDY!

Reality TV aesthetic, spreading into news and politics like spilled ink on thirsty paper.

America, Kamala wants to give you a rose. How does that make you feel?