Canada Flexes

Recall the recent discussion here of the “Carney Doctrine,” after Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney threw down the gauntlet at Donald Trump’s feet. Orange Man Bad, so Canada is going to become a rising power and lead a new international coalition to challenge the cruel American hegemon and stuff. The deeply silly opinion pages of the deeply silly New York Times celebrated Carney’s deeply silly speech, and declared the potential emergence of “an economic and defense alliance that rivals American power.” Back when all of this happened, I discussed the obvious condition of the Canadian armed forces, and advanced a sophisticated argument that LOL.

Reality keeps making the same joke. At the Federalist this week, I wrote about the recent notifications in the Federal Register about a series of arms deals that will allow Canada to make large purchases of American weapons. So as Carney spoke about challenging American military power on the world stage, he knew that his plan for doing that was to get the weapons from America. It’s an I want to punch you in the face, but first I need you to teach me how to throw a punch maneuver.

And then, this morning, Politico dropped this bomb, by which I mean that Politico has been eating a lot of Taco Bell and dropped into a stall in the gender-neutral office bathroom:

Muscular! Canada’s been puttin’ in work at the world order gym.

Note subhed: This is a story about “the new international order.” America is being shoved into the global background, now, as Canada flexes its haaaard new muscles. The story is illustrated with a ship, so obviously a huge announcement about naval powe— nope.

NUUK, Greenland — At the top of a tall white pole that dwarfs a tiny red cottage on the edge of Greenland’s snow-capped western coastline, a brand-new flag flies in the Arctic air.

On Friday, Canada’s consulate opened in the unassuming building, a permanent diplomatic outpost sharing modest digs with Iceland — previously one of the only countries with a formal presence in the territory.

Opening a Canadian consulate in Nuuk, the capital of the autonomous territory of Greenland in the Kingdom of Denmark, has been in the works for over a year. But the timing, coinciding with both another round of menacing from U.S. President Donald Trump and bracing talk at Davos by Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney of the need to forge new alliances, is not lost on anyone here.

CRAWL ON THE GROUND, AMERICA, YOUR TIME IS DONE!

Canada has an…office.

1. “Muscular new anti-Trump strategy”

2. The new international order

3. A small new office

Mark Carney has declared something, and the news media will help him to pretend that it’s true, no matter how hard they have to fake it. Apply this lesson widely. Politician makes mouth noises, reporters type up mouth noises, headlines declare importance of mouth noises. NEW GLOBAL ORDER EMERGES.

Anyway, Canada has a desk and a chair in Greenland, now. Take that, Trump!