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If you ever get a chance to visit a historical archive and read American newspapers from the early 19th century, it's fun. They say things like, "We have just received the latest bucket of filthy untruths from the shameful den of Jacobin vipers at the Crosstown Weekly News, and pause from recoiling in horror to address their vile calumnies."

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"We have just received the latest bucket of filthy untruths from the shameful den of Jacobin vipers at The Atlantic and Davos, and pause from recoiling in horror to address their vile calumnies." Sounds like something you'd write. You are carrying on a proud tradition, good sir.

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I praise Chris a lot for his insights and rapier wit, and it's well-deserved. This piece is one of his best. But I have to pause for a moment and heap some more encomium for his COMMENT SECTION. This group is a collection of the brightest, ballsiest, and sharpest knives around.

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Sep 28·edited Sep 29Liked by Chris Bray

Wow. There really is nothing new under the sun. We just know about it ad nauseam via the internet. And it’s much harder to avoid.

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Upton Sinclair (“The Brass Check”) and George Orwell (Homage to Catalonia and private letters) wrote about this ages ago. Over 100 years ago Sinclair detailed how the AP were the captive stenographers of the powers that be (the titular “brass check” referred to a token carried by prostitutes, showing what he thought of the bought and paid for media). Orwell almost 100 years ago wrote in the context of the Spanish Civil War about how the press would completely invent stories in favor of the government narrative, while ignoring any stories inconvenient to it. And of course there are tons of other examples, like William Randolph Hearst basically inventing the pretexts for the Spanish-American War. Corporate media have always been the water carriers of state propaganda, of course Kerry wants to go back to that.

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founding

I wrote a term paper in high school on Hearst and his famous scam, and bequeathed the idea to my daughter when she was in high school. It’s pretty fun to research.

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I'd have to say that

"...makes my bowels rumble.."

"Max Boot is a turd."

"President Shitshispants" and

'Local Substack writer denies long weekend in Vegas hotel with Sydney Sweeney...'

all belong in some kind of journalism or SubStack Hall of Fame.

Stuff has to be pretty darn funny for me to actually laugh out loud when I'm alone in front of my computer. Comedy, IMHO, is a team sport. Everything is funnier with more people. But I have, numerous times, laughed out loud reading "Tell Me How This Ends." Love it!

Chris you would have had much steeper competition for your witticism back then with lines like the 'vile calumnies' above. Your commentary and followers are one of the few places of reality I have found on the internet, and the humor from you and everyone is good medicine for this guy.

bsn

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It’s a good, fun community. Helps me stay sane.

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"donne-leur une bouffée de mitraille"

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Had to look it up. Wiff of grapeshot. 19th Century 'I love the smell of Napalm in the morning...smells like...VICTORY!'

bsn

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donne-moi une mitrailleuse

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I second this motion, or whatever the phrase is.

Plowed through I-don't-want-to-remember number of papers from 1890-1920 when I did my paper on how capital punishment came to be abolished in Sweden.

Reporting back then sure was something. One I remember especially reported on a suicide (still a crime back then). The man in question had put a stub of dynamite in his mouth and lit the fuse, and subsequently blown his head off.

In public, outside church after Sunday-sermons.

And this they reported with full name and adress and the parents and siblings details too, his church protocol was cited as was his grades and one of his university professors - everything public, nothing private.

Another one was from the December 30, 1899, issue of one major local daily where the city police provost urged people to aim their rifles and assorted other firearms out over the water when shooting in the air at Midnight, as stray bullets had killed three people the preceding New Year's Eve.

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I used "newspapers.com" to research my old house -- lots of really old papers there. Plus you can search by keyword which is fantastic.

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I just saw that clip and saved it for a future ridiculing article. John Kerry is one of the most insufferable people alive because he really think he's a savior and not a destroyer.

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author

In-fucking-sufferable. Imagine sitting in that room and listening to that jackass in person.

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I would be removed by security.

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#metoo

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I would WANT to be removed by security. Worse punishment: Forced to sit there with tape over my mouth and listen to the rest of the runny extrement flowing from his mouth.

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I have had to do that. He is the Premier Gasbag amongst all other gasbags. He has been a gasbag since Vietnam. And people just listen to him, nodding politely, instead of laughing or running out of the hearing room screaming, which actually are the only two normal, human reactions to hearing his gasbaggery.

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“Gasbaggery” - that’s a good one.

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he needs a swift boat to an old age home

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He can stop by on his way and pick up Joe.

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And Klaus and George.

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his epitaph will read "He never achieved importance"

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Jay Leno called John Kerry. He wants his lantern jaw back.

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Sep 28Liked by Chris Bray

I've never had a nightmare quite that bad.

And sincerely hope I never do!

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In-fucking-sufferable gas bag more like it. Remember not too long ago when he audibly farted on stage while “gas”lighting on “climate change”? And people like him want to eliminate or plug up farting cows…. You first, (g)ass hat

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He talks like, a you know, valley girl.

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Jackass is such a great term!

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And there it is: it’s always the John Kerrys of the world who see themselves as saviors, just as the Massachusetts Puritans did. They hanged 4 Quakers and exiled Anne Hutchinson and her followers all in the name of saving a religion that couldn’t deal with dissent.

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Eventually dissent is always dealt with in the same manner.

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He, like Obama, postures as a selfless, well-meaning good Overlord, but “The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it" according to H.L. Mencken. It is all about power, for which he has spent a lifetime reaching.

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He and Kamala are knit from the same ball of yarn--it is clear they both believe they are delivering profound truths that cause people to reflect deeply on their assumptions and beliefs. There is no other way to assess what it is they're trying to communicate. They think their words are truly significant and matter mightily.

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I think if your intended audience has been mind-captured to the level of near zombie, it's a safe bet you'll sound smart to them. He knows his audience.

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SimCom, you're presupposing that Mr. Kerry actually thinks.

I know a number of people who would question that assumption.

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I lasted until he said "there's got to be some sort of accountability on facts". Then I turned it off.

It's like Kerry has no idea why someone would think "the nerve...", because his head is so far up his ass. It's astonishing to watch.

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Sep 29·edited Sep 29

I just found: "Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?" - Job 38:2

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This is a Massachusetts mindset, isn't it? Not necessarily Puritan; it might stem from the abolitionists.

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He needs a new rug.

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Sep 28·edited Sep 29Liked by Chris Bray

All of this talk about The First amendment being a bad thing for democracy is freaking me out. What in the Hell?! Also, what is this crap about how there should be consensus on issues?! And he just comes out and says, that folks with different opinions should be ‘hammered out of existence’?! Is anyone else angry and horrified by this?

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author

All day, every day.

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Listen to the dire warnings about the loss of the First on Dark Horse podcast: Brett Weinstein has a conversation with Matt Taibbi.

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It is a bad thing for "our democracy". Theirs, not mine because we are not just a democracy. We are a republic because simple democracy cab devolve to a tyrrany of the majority. Which is what we are witnessing play out now at the behest of those in office thanks to Zuck's bucks - fully half the country (largely the tax-paying half I'd bet) being demonized as deplorable, desperately clinging to guns and bibles, doing away with the filibuster to assure abortion rights that are obviously not agreed upon which would also be used to pack the Supreme Court again, ... . No they need to be stopped from destroying the republic.

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Whenever I see the word "consensus" I relace it with the phrase "struggle session" because that is all consensus making really is. Consensus is no more a key component of democracy than apples are a part of orange marmalade.

Another aphorism that I find detestable "Politics is the art of compromise". If this is true, then the last thing we need are more politicians. CONFLICT is the heart of this republic. The more conflict, the less the government gets to meddle. COMPROMISE is grease for a wheel I want to to never run smoothly.

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We are all angry and horrified!

I think what he wants to hammer out of existence is disinformation and its platforms...upon speaking that sentence, he really should have disappeared in a puff of smoke.

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Sep 29Liked by Chris Bray

I still lived in New Hampshire in 2004, and during primary season was working in downtown Manchester, watching American politics up close. Got to see a Lyndon Larouche supporter rush the stage at a Howard Dean rally, only to be wrestled to the floor by future U.S. Senator Al Franken. Got to see how short Gen. Wesley Clark is, which made me realize his campaign was doomed. Got to see two reporters nearly knock an old woman to the floor so as not to be late to a health care forum at which the actress Glenn Close was a panelist. And that was the year even Carole King came to town, to play a show for John Kerry, the Comeback Kid. That the Democrats of New Hampshire thought Kerry was their best chance to beat George W. Bush says a lot about human folly in 2004. New Hampshire gets a lot of heat for insisting on a first-in-the-nation primary because it's so tiny and white, not 'diverse' enough for the new America. Everyone who argues that point is an idiot. The whole point of New Hampshire as the first primary has nothing to do with diversity, and everything to do with being a tiny backwater. The WHOLE POINT of the exercise is that in New Hampshire it is possible, and strongly encouraged, for the candidates to get out and get in front of normal people on a small-scale, day after day. New Hampshire is so small you realistically can meet every potential voter in the course of the season. Bill Clinton probably did. It's meant to force politics down to the retail level. Anyway, my favorite moment that year, 2004, and probably the real beginning of my education as a 21st century American, was talking to a young Kerry campaign worker. The kid said to me, actually SAID THIS OUT LOUD TO ME, AT THE TIME A REGISTERED DEMOCRAT OF THE STATE HE WAS CAMPAIGNING IN: "People here are aggravating. They want so much from you. You call 'em two or three times... they still haven't made up their minds. They expect you to ask for their vote. Like it's something."

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author

This is a MAGNIFICENT collection of stories. "Got to see a Lyndon Larouche supporter rush the stage at a Howard Dean rally, only to be wrestled to the floor by future U.S. Senator Al Franken." Each word of that, and the way it all fits together....

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Sep 29Liked by Chris Bray

The Larouche supporters were amazing - like part cult member, part performance artist. If I could go back in time, I would follow them around exclusively. At a John Edwards rally, they started yelling about Dick Cheney and wind farms - absolutely incoherent, just lovely. The candidate didn't simply ignore them - he stopped speaking and moving entirely, almost mime like, while his aides escorted the Larouche maniac from the room. It was great absurdist theatre. You knew immediately that Edwards had been told not to engage with any heckler, to avoid being caught on tape - don't want anything that might upset the news cycle. But it was advice that probably cost him the vote of everyone in the room, because it was behavior not meant for face to face interaction. Does that make sense? These people only act so as to get on TV, or avoid getting on TV. The middle ground is where the rest of us live. Or used to live. 2004 seems quaint.

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Thanks for this.

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Sep 28Liked by Chris Bray

I’m glad you read/listen to/watch this stuff so we don’t have to. Your gut biome must be incredibly strong.

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My mom has some great stories about my grandfather coming home from Vietnam and shouting obscenities at Walter Cronkite on TV for all the BS he was spewing about the war.

Later in life, he told me that Cronkite owed his whole career to the bones in his skull that made his voice resonate in a tone conveying authority, regardless of what he was actually saying.

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Ty! Ty to your grandfather! I’m stealing!

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You nailed it. The biggest lie of all is that the press was ever fair or balanced. The press has always been biased There has never been a time when it wasn’t. The fantasy of the three big networks NBC CBS ABC being honest and fair is nothing but a fantasy. They were never fair or balanced. But we were not aware of that because there was no alternative at the time.

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author

There was always alternative media, but it took some work. The newsstand was an hour-plus slog.

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In 1796, Adams became president following Washington. In those days, the VP was the runner up for President, so it was Jefferson. During the four years of the Adams administration, Jefferson (as the VP) used the press to defame Adams and undermine his administration, and in the election of 1800 it was a war of competing newspapers. Quoting Jefferson about how the press lies is like quoting Satan about how mankind sins.

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But here was the thing. For print media especially, with enough details you could read between the lines and put together some idea of what was truly going on. Reporting is a lot less rich in detail these days. The cardinal virtue of any journalist is to be where it’s happening and get it all down.

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Ok- this one is easy peasy ( 2 glasses of Sagrantino into the weekend. I just drove six hours and I’m in vacanza . Gimme a break.)

John Kerry: Swiss prep school, aristocratic establishment dull mediocrity ( like a linoleum floor in a junior high with too many layers of old waxy buildup) who has the following talents in life: being a snob, being tall, being a gigolo for rich women who like dudes dressed like a butler, who look like reanimated pituitary gland extract experiments gone wrong.

Fine post, Chris.

Tanto out.

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author

Skull and Bones. Gentleman's C. Yes.

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But we nearly elected this Lurch, this waxwork that repeats only the acceptable words and phrases. Isn’t it partly our fault as Americans for putting up with the charade that politicians give a single fart about ordinary citizens?

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“Guys dressed like a butler.” You made me spit out my coffee, laughing at this line. Your comment made my day!

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Sep 29Liked by Chris Bray

First observation: 6.8% of Kerry’s talk at Davos consisted of “you know.” 7 repetitions in 205 words.

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author

Good catch!

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The only thing Kerry does well and makes any sense is marry rich women.

Danny Huckabee⁹

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author

Apparently rich women with quite limited eyesight

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founding

But many things are, in fact, improved by ketchup.

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GP: Except, of course, a Chicago hot dog.

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😂😂

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It makes the best lube.

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Ha ha ha that's hilarious!

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If he weren’t so old, it would do Kerry good to spend a year working on an oil rig.

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The chances of him causing a disaster by pushing the wrong button is too high. And even having him work as, say, cook, is dangerous. He'd probably end up giving the entire crew food poisoning.

But deploying him to Ukraine as a mine-clearer would be a good use of him and wouldn't require too much physical effort

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The little I know, or wish to know, of Mr. Kerry makes me doubt that he is familiar with the concept "work".

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Unfortunately you’re right. Maybe we could get him a training oil rig, like training wheels. Or just dig holes and fill them up again.

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With some difficulty I force myself to refrain from the obvious comment re Mr. Kerry's whereabouts as those holes are filled in.

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I’d settle for sending him back to St. Paul’s for a year to work in the dining hall for minimum wage. I think he’d find it enlightening.

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Kerry, work? Perish the thought.

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Back when John Forbes Kerry was living and working in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts as Lieutenant Governor (sleeping in the back seat of convertible LaBaron, because his very wealthy first wife kicked his boney ass out of HER house) he was referred to by the local TV news media as “live shot”! No situation in which the potential for Ole Johnny to promote himself as a serious political figure went on without “live shot” showing up. He was a basic joke amongst a legislative general court full of low IQ midwit grifters and even THEY couldn’t stand him. Senate President William Bulger used him like a rented mule whenever he needed to humiliate some one or thing and making Kerry the butt of his humor worked every time. Now this old clown dances around the world pretending anyone gives a damn about what he has to say. In fairness to the US Navy, his senior commanders got him the Hell out of the Mekong Delta in one piece before someone could roll an M1 fragmentary grenade under his rack. Thus perpetuating the point that no good deed goes unpunished. Another St. Paul’s School, Yale University and Skull and Bones man doing his best to prove that money not brains can get one a long way in life. Right George W? “Give me a Y! Give me an A.”

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And yet he rose to almost the top of the stinking heap that is the USG.

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“...if people go to only one source and the source they go to is sick and, you know, has an agenda and they're putting out disinformation, our First Amendment stands as a major block to the ability to be able to just, you know, hammered out of existence.”

he’s right. we need to get rid of The Washington Post.

damn you First Amendment!

there are a dozen outlets I would love to torpedo also John, but y’know…the Constitution.

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Chris, I’m really struggling to decide if your angry is funnier than Taibbi anger.

Kerry is so pathetic he can only be the living role model for Justin Trudeau, the stupid that Trustin Judeau strives to be.

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Sep 29Liked by Chris Bray

"...people self-select where they go for their news or for their information..." Well, we certainly can't have that now, can we?

John Kerry was a naval officer during Vietnam (one of my contemporaries, I'm sorry to say) and after he finagled his way out of Vietnam claiming a 3rd "wound," one that the doctor refused to certify as being serious enough to warrant a purple heart thus forcing John to go over the doctor's head to someone up the chain of command, John got to go home.

Our boy John then began his political career (obviously his destiny) by going in front of congress and testifying that while in Vietnam he witnessed his men committing wartime atrocities in violation of the Geneva Convention. When asked why, as the officer in charge, he didn't stop the atrocities or report them at the time, he said he felt it was important for his men to continue to like and respect him.

And that, my friends, should tell all you need to know about the integrity of the august Mr John Kerry!

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deletedSep 29
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How about the fact that he ordered his men to film him going ashore from his PT boat twice because the screwed it up the first time?? Twat…

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Semper Fi to your Dad btw… sorry, I should have said that first. Mine was 1st Marine Division. Still marching around, but now in heaven!

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Sep 28Liked by Chris Bray

Did Kerry take a private plane to Davos? Or did he fly commercial? Or did he appear on a Zoom call?

Asking for a friend.

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author

He flew on a waft of virtue

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Sep 29Liked by Chris Bray

My wafts of virtue emit too much methane.

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author

THAT'S NOT VIRTUE

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Heinz powering internal flatulence

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He flew in using a special green fuel that generates clouds of smug

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this comment made my day

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Greta rowed him across the Atlantic Ocean. She has really blossomed!

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I like to think he wind-surfed his way to Davos.

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