They got him! The most dangerous criminal in the history of forever, Gregory “Sprayer” Yetman, has surrendered to the multi-jurisdictional army that went to his house to hang out for the cameras with large bags of rations from Panera Bread.
The best of the best, the FBI’s Washington, D.C. field office, proudly made the announcement on social media:
While a massive team of heavily armed FBI agents tore through the woods, on the hunt, the news suggests that Yetman just walked into town and turned himself in to the local cops: “Yetman turned himself in to Monroe Township police Friday morning, officials said.” But maybe if the FBI had just had another couple-thousand dudes in military camouflage. Send more armored cars, I beg of you, cried Special Agent Oliver Twist.
Now, the public is obviously profoundly relieved that the FBI has taken down a dangerous domestic terrorist, because look at the outpouring of gratitude in response to their announcement:
Going great. Healthy institutions with broad public support!
Has any regime in history ever succeeded in taking the stick and driving the nose of the airship of state straight into the dirt with the rapidity we're watching now? Not just talking about the formal government here. Every single institution has suffered a catastrophic collapse in public confidence and in what looks like record time.
I recommend watching the 2010 movie “The Way Back” to prepare for the gulags that are coming. Border open, cities in disarray, but we’re so much safer because the FBI nabbed a Jersey dude.