The Culture War Has a Real Scoreboard, But It's Hidden Behind the Fake Scoreboard

Starfleet Academy is a new Star Trek show on the Paramount+ streaming platform. I would not ever be inclined to watch it, or to want to watch it, or to think about wanting to watch it, or to imagine thinking about an alternative version of myself wanting to watch it. But Star Trek remains a popular enough franchise, so it should at least sort of work as a business proposition. An audience should be…out there, somewhere. A month ago, sending signals to that audience, Paramount+ released a teaser scene to generate excitement about the series premiere. Do yourself a favor: watch the first twenty seconds of the sample clip that was supposed to make people want to watch this thing:

Reviews land somewhere around “consistently pleased,” with Starfleet Academy landing a pretty good 85% positive score at Rotten Tomatoes for reviews from professional critics. Sample of the review from the trade publication Variety:

The same review hints quite broadly that Paul Giamatti’s villain on the show “draws direct parallels to the fear-mongers and empathy-deniers who have permeated our real-life society,” so there are lots of scrappy multi-heritage lesbians and they fight a mean straight white man, which is stunning and brave.

The Hollywood Reporter is less enthused, but promises that the show offers “a demonstration of the subversive power of empathy” and “a lesson in cross-cultural understanding.” There are lessons, and who doesn’t want to watch that? It’s undergraduate story hour in space, subtly teaching empathy and Trump sucks, but on a starship.

Now, the results: Paramount+ released the series premiere for free on YouTube, again sending out the signal for audiences to come watch the rest on their paid platform. Result:

Six to ten million dollars per episode, “1,316 watching now.” That’s about what the varsity football games draw in my small suburban town, and we only pay the high schoolers three to five million per game. Those numbers have improved on Day Two, but…

Sympathies to the accountants at Paramount+, but the losses can probably used for tax benefits. I said above that Starfleet Academy had an 85% positive rating from professional critics, but I didn’t mention the other number, the audience rating called the Popcornmeter:

So critics rejoice, because this show is a politically orthodox lecture on culture and identity, but audiences react a little differently. Extrapolate: How does the professional media class respond to, say for example, riot footage from Minneapolis, and what’s the Popcornmeter for that same event? The divide between sensemaking institutions and militant normals, part 423,091. If legacy media mostly declare that the meaning and significance of an event is X, the meaning and significance of the event are probably Not X.

As always, the response from Critical Drinker is not unpleasant: