Tedious Self-Referential Incestuous Garbage Mindless Nothing, With Your Hosts Hillary and Gavin

in lieu of ever doing anything

In December, world leaders gathered in Doha to talk to each other. The Doha Forum is a “global platform for dialogue, bringing together leaders in policy to discuss critical challenges facing our world, and to build innovative and action-driven networks.”

In January, world leaders gathered in Davos to talk to each other. “World leaders from government, business, civil society and academia will convene in Davos to engage in forward-looking discussions to address global issues and set priorities. The call for bold collective action makes the meeting particularly relevant.”

And now, because they haven’t gasbagged at one another enough, world leaders have gathered this week for the Munich Security Conference. “As the leading forum for international security policy, the MSC 2026 will once again enable high-level debates on the key foreign and security policy challenges of our time.”

Global leadership conferences: December, January, February.

If you’re wondering how important all of these global summits are, Munich just hosted a panel discussion on women’s rights that was hosted by Hillary Clinton. It featured Rep. “Sarah” McBride, a dude in a dress, who talked about his rights as a woman. People flew in for this.

See, they have a lot of global conferences because they have such important matters to discuss, and because the conversations bring together the real heavy hitters in the world of policy, who engage in direct debate and negotiation at a level that would give us mortals a fatal nosebleed if we even tried to keep up. As the closed captioning will show us, this panel discussion was very fresh and original, breaking new ground in the consideration of gender:

Imagine being in this room. For an hour. It’s like a coyote date that requires a passport.

1. A conference of global leaders on the topic of international security

2. A panel discussion with “Sarah” McBride to talk about The Handmaid’s Tale

IF ONLY THIS FORUM HAD EXISTED IN 1914. Check your fire, everyone, there’s a dude in a dress. A whole century of peace just slipped out of our fingers because we didn’t yet know about gender-themed panel discussions.

Of course, California Governor Gavin “Patrick Bateman” Newsom spoke in Davos, and here he is in Munich to speak again.

What does the governor of California do, and why do Californians have one? He is the person in state government who flies to Switzerland and Germany for us to bitch about Donald Trump. Gavin Newsom made the climate have to not ever change again, by the way, but then the Great Orange Destroyer said for the climate to go back to being allowed to change, so.

Name something more useless. I mean, I also mostly just gasbag at people a lot, but you don’t have to fly me to Europe ar give me a mansion. It’s like I’m a low-budget governor, or Hillary Clinton but in the form of really a person.

It’s budget season in California, by the way, and it’s going like this:

Like Seneca Scott, who reveals the appalling decline of Oakland by walking, John Hicks has two million subscribers on YouTube because he just rides a bike around Los Angeles:

The more the bizarre ritual interventions of the governing class do nothing to serve the places they “govern,” the more a bunch of things in the real world decline into shit, the more the governing class flies into bubbles to talk to itself.

I don’t mind that part. I just resent the part where they come back.