Mike Johnson is angry today, or at least irritated. Some of his Democratic colleagues “stormed” his office, and he’s talking about what they did: berating a Capitol police officer who was posted to guard the place, tearing down a sign inside the office, and so on. There’s video at that link, if you want to watch Johnson expressing his disgust for this behavior. He’s Mike Johnson, so his outrage cranks all the way up to maybe a three, on a scale of one to ten. He’s a strangely Midwestern Loiusianan.
But this is the thing he’s denouncing:
Debbie Wasserman Schultz and Pramila Jayapal and that what’s-her-name Debbie Downer person from Oregon are OUTRAGED. Members of Congress are MARCHING against…Congress. Madge from HR is having a sit-in against the marketing department for using too many office supplies, I TOLD YOU TO LAY OFF THE PAPER CLIPS AND WOULD IT KILL YOU TO BREW A NEW POT OF COFFEE WE SHALL OVERCOME. Name something more tedious. It’s pussyhats and bunny boilers all the way down. The substance of their “protest” is meaningless, and I’m not going to bother with it, but go back up to play the video of the march and just listen.
Democrats have perfected the art of anti-persuasion. WE DEMAND THAT YOU wait where are you going DON’T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME I’M TELLING YOU MY DEMANDS. We’re going to perform joyless diatribes until you submit. When he filed for divorce, the husband of then-Representative Katie Porter said that she used to scratch her arms bloody with her own fingernails, then scream at him: LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO, HOW DARE YOU. The Democratic Party. You scratched my arms with my fingers from across the room, you fascist.
For crying out loud, ignore them. Don’t respond to this at all. Go on with your day like it never happened. Taking the emotional bait is eating the cheese in the mousetrap.
The comment thread to the news video is full of entirely predictable yas-slay-kweening:
Anything that produces a “you go girls!” is performative silliness, and can be ignored. This comment is my favorite, by the way:
Johnson wasn’t there, so they only marched on the oppressor’s receptionist, after which their demands were disregarded, so patriarchal oppression has been dismantled. Okay.
The Democratic Party is developing into something very special, and go look at the slate of winners who are running to replace California Governor Patrick Bateman, starting with the aforementioned arm-scratcher:
The art of tactical disengagement offers important tools for not bothering. Just go on with your day. And as for this…
The only correct response is a good breakfast and then maybe a nice hike in the woods. An afternoon nap. Ignore meaningless things.
wE’rE nOt goNnA leT yOu bE a kINg, yOu nAzi / light snoring
Or, "I don't really care, Margaret."
Great article as usual. The only thing that I'd add is that THEY KNEW JOHNSON WASN'T THERE. The performance was the entire point.