Mean Extremists Refuse Cup of Poison

Via Coffee & Covid, the New York Times has published a remarkable story today about the mean orange opposition to the pure-hearted and gentle extension of warrantless surveillance, which is good and kind and nice but the scary orange devil is being mean about it. This story is everything that’s wrong with American journalism — the whole sick ball of gibbering bullshit in one neat package. Here, let’s see how the Times wants us to understand the event:

Right-wing House Republicans on Wednesday blocked legislation to extend an expiring warrantless surveillance law….

On a vote of 228 to 193, 19 House Republicans, most aligned with the ultraconservative House Freedom Caucus, joined Democrats in opposing its consideration….

Representative Matt Gaetz, Republican of Florida and one of the leaders of the party’s hard-right wing, had pledged Tuesday to tank it.

See, now you understand: the far-right, right-wing, ultra-right, hard-right, ultraconservative lunatics prevented the extension of the government’s power to engage in warrantless surveillance. This was a dangerous extremist maneuver, knuckle-dragging madness from a wild-eyed band of dimwitted crazies. What happened is that right-ring extremists voted to endanger America because of their petty grievances about their stupid orange god. Look at this paragraph, possibly the single dumbest paragraph in the history of American journalism:

But as a matter of politics, Mr. Trump’s attack on the measure underscored his lingering grievances about the Russia investigation and his disdain for national security agencies he often disparages as an evil “deep state.” And it was resonating with his hard-right allies on Capitol Hill. They see blocking the extension of the law — which government officials say is crucial to their foreign intelligence and counterterrorism work to protect the United States — as a way to inflict pain on the an intelligence community they regard as an enemy.

You see, boys and girls, the mean man, he not liking the good people, so he throwing a mean tantrum. These reporters missed their calling as daycare assistants.

But then notice that, in the middle of all this framing about a stupid far-right tantrum motivated only by personal butthurt, the story also tells you that the extremist, Trump-hypnotized Freedom Caucus of far-right nutjobs…joined…Democrats in…uh.

“Right-wing House Republicans on Wednesday blocked legislation” by joining with Democrats, clear evidence of a far-right maneuver. Did the Democrats who cast exactly the same vote participate in a far-right maneuver because they were obeying Trump? Anyway, MOVING ON.

Now, here’s the nineteenth paragraph, way down underneath all the stuff about butthurt tantrum-throwing from dumb right-wing extremists:

As a result, the government sometimes collects Americans’ private messages without a warrant. While there are limits on how those messages can be searched for and used, the F.B.I. has repeatedly violated those limits in recent years — including improperly querying for information about Black Lives Matter protesters and people suspected of participating in the Jan. 6, 2021, Capitol riot.

Oh.

Reading the New York Times is like giving yourself a lobotomy with a screwdriver.