Journalism: Sort of Like 'Shrooming, But Lazier and Way Dumber

Tell 'em a hookah-smoking caterpillar sent you

Test what journalists tell you.

As Florida prepares to implement a new state law that will — effective January 1, 2023 — eliminate a special district that allows the Disney corporation to self-govern the Disneyworld Resort, the news warns that local government is about to devastated by the impact of new responsibilities. Burdened with the shift to governing Disneyworld, taxpayers in Orange and Osceola counties, and the City of Orlando, will be absolutely crushed by a tsunami of new taxes. Typical headline: “End of Reedy Creek: Disney won’t pay more taxes, but you will”:

Meanwhile, here’s the Ghost of Florida’s Christmas Future: Across the country in Anaheim, California, the Disney corporation runs a large complex of entertainment properties — Disneyland, the California Adventure theme park, a giant shopping district called Downtown Disney, and some Disney-owned hotels on the same property — without a special district, brutalizing local government and its taxpayers by…well, by paying taxes to local government. And ohhhhh, reader, Anaheim taxpayers writhe in unspeakable agony as the burden of the Disney properties weighs them down like medieval servants. “Please, please, Walt Disney corporation, allow us just one morsel of food for ourselves,” they beg, but Disney just laughs and tilts its silken top hat back on its head, enjoying the screams of the dying peasants. Why, just look at this page from the Anaheim city budget for the current fiscal year, a page I found instantly in a 242-page document by searching for “Disney,” as city officials describe the burden of Disney’s presence without a special district:

So:

Four percent of the city’s footprint generates half of the city’s general fund revenue.

DO YOU HEAR THE SCREAMS OF THE BURDENED PEASANTS, reader? How are they even to have streets, as this Disney monster drains their very lifeblood in the absence of a special district to insulate them from the pain?

Now, a series of screenshots from that same city government budget:

And:

And (TOT is transient-occupancy tax, hotel bed tax):

And:

Big finish, and look at this closely:

“Over the past five years, there has been a net contribution of almost $450 million to the General Fund from the Resort.” That’s it. That’s the kind of burden Florida taxpayers are facing.

Anaheim takes taxes from its Disney properties, and provides government services to those properties in exchange. Is it “staring at financial ruin,” as journalists claim Florida counties will face when they find themselves in the same boat?

This local taxpayers will suffer bullshit is corporate talking points aimed at a political end, recycled mindlessly by absolute fucking idiots. Disney maintained a special district for its Florida properties because it benefited Disney financially; these news stories about local governments and taxpayers suffering pain because Disney is losing special privileges requires that you not notice the underlying premise that Disney’s special self-governing privileges were a burden to the corporation. Ohh, how Disney suffered with all the extra money they had to pay to have their own local government and answer to themselves, but now the taxpayers will take the burden on their backs. I mean, wow.