And Now a Word from Ms. Lucy van Pelt

Listen, I don’t bullshit, so I’m just gonna tell it straight up — how it really is. These guys at Enron are brilliant, okay? It doesn’t matter what the room is, ‘cause if these guys are in there? Yeah, they’re the smartest people in the room. They’re totally remaking energy markets, and frankly, the sophistication of the work they’re doing confuses some, let’s say, lesser minds. You’ve got this stupid chick Bethany McLean who’s writing all this bullshit about, Oh, Enron is a black box, I can’t figure out where their reported earnings are really coming from, I have all these ignorant doubts ‘cause I’m just some dumb chick at some magazine. Literally so stupid. You know why she can’t figure it out? Straight up, bro, she can’t figure it out because she’s about half as sophisticated as guys like Ken Lay and Ken Skilling. Take my word on this: Enron is gonna be one of the most important companies of the twenty-first century.

Here’s the truth, okay? You’ve got this fool, this economist named Larry Lindsey, who worked for the White House, and he told a congressional committee that the war in Iraq could cost as much as $100 billion. I mean, what an idiot. They had to fire him, ‘cause that’s just total bullshit, the war’s not gonna cost anywhere near that much money. Look, here’s the real story: Doug Feith and Paul Wolfowitz, really sharp guys, they put together a team of top experts at the Pentagon, big-brained defense intellectuals and military experts, and these guys, they ran through all the facts, and they’ve reported that the war is gonna be quick, easy, and cheap. We basically go in, okay, we’re greeted as liberators, we take out Saddam, and boom: stable Iraq, baby! It’ll pretty much be over in a week, more or less. These are top experts at the Pentagon, okay, so let’s zip it with all the naysaying.

Look, here’s the deal: We’ve got an epidemic of untreated pain in this country, ‘cause of this frankly ignorant fear of opioids, so we’re letting people suffer when they don’t have to, but, basically, that’s all over now, okay, ‘cause we’ve learned that opioids are nowhere near as addictive as people used to think. We’ve got the Porter-Jick study, huge scientific study on this, and it says people just don’t get addicted to this stuff like we used to think, okay, and then we’ve got the scientists at Purdue Pharma, just brilliant people, and what they’ve done is, they’ve put this time-release coating on these opioid pills, so the shit is, like, almost totally non-addictive, like you literally can’t even get hooked on the shit. And, I mean, look, read the official label, bro — the FDA says the shit isn’t believed to be addictive, and the FDA is where the experts on this shit all work, okay? These miracle drugs, all right, they were developed by scientists, they’re prescribed by highly educated medical doctors, and they’re totally approved by the drug experts at the FDA, okay, so nobody wants to hear a bunch of bullshit about false addiction claims and all that stupid shit. We’re gonna end the era of undertreated pain, we’re gonna prescribe way more opioids, and it’s gonna be awesome. We’re entering a medical golden age, okay, and the last thing we need is a buncha assholes who wanna hold up the progress we’re making. I mean, fuck, bro, where’s your medical degree, right?

Check it out, okay, I like you, so, like, hot tip here, and you didn’t even have to ask for it: The housing market is on fire, and it’s only ever gonna go up, like I mean straight the fuck up, okay? And the mortgage derivatives Wall Street cooked up, I mean this shit is huge, they’re basically giving away free money, okay, and the shit is all totally safe, like, listen to the fuckin’ rating agencies, okay, they’re the experts, all these people do all day is analyze risk, and they’re all, like, Boom, another AAA rating for this shit! There’s so much money to be made, bro, I’m so fucking serious about this, like, this is gonna be the year, okay? What you should do is, okay, start right now, spend 2006 buying all the houses you can get your hands on, and get all your cash into a fund that’s buying up mortgage-backed CDOs, you’ll walk into 2007 rich as fuck, I’m not kidding, and then you can laugh your ass off, ‘cause you can watch these idiots, like this asshole Michael Burry, you hear about this jackass? Such a moron, he’s buying credit default swaps on MBS, just like pissing his money away, I’m totally serious, he’s literally betting against the housing market, what a fool. This dude’s gonna get wiped the fuck out, for sure. Look, just listen to the smart money on Wall Street and the experts at the rating agencies, all right, you literally can’t lose.

I’ve got sources on Capitol Hill, okay, big big people, top political staff, and here’s the inside shit, okay, straight from the horse’s mouth: The walls are totally closing in on Trump, okay? Like, he’s finished, I mean, it’s over. You gotta remember, the dossier is from literally an ex-MI6 guy, a trained spy, like a huge intel professional, and this dude has, like, all the top sources like right inside Russia, okay, so you know every word of that dossier is straight-up truth for real, and then Mueller, check this shit out, like, everybody knows this dude is literally brilliant, he’s gonna waltz right into the Capitol, step up in front of a committee, and just straight-up lay all this shit right on the table, okay, like BOOM! It’s Mueller-time, baby, Trump’s done! Be cool with this, but I’m seriously hearing this straight from people who work directly for Adam Schiff, so this is like, guaranteed.

So, for real, you gotta listen to this shit, I’ve been asking around, okay, top people in pharma and medicine and the federal agencies, and, bro, this is such a relief, you’re gonna fuckin’ love this, check it out: Covid’s over. We start giving out these vaccines, and boom! — it’s, like, finished, like instantly. No, I’m serious! They’re saying these Pfizer and Moderna vaccines, no bullshit, like better than 95% efficacy, check this shit out, they’re basically perfect, like you take this shit and you’re instantly a total dead-end for the virus, like you can’t even get infected ever again, I’m hearing this straight from people who work for Dr. Fauci himself….

Aaron Ginn @aginnt

Let’s go back in time to 3/29/21 “No we know that the vaccines work well enough that the virus stops with every vaccinated person… The virus does not infect them…It cannot use a vaccinated person as a host to get more people.”