All Cadre Rise to Denounce [Name Here] as One

duckspeak, broadcast

The event has concluded. We will now hear commentary from our panel of experienced journalists and expert political analysts. Analyst Number One?

It was bad. He is bad. Bad bad is a bad bad! He is threat to Our Democracy!

Thank you. I agree. Expert Number Two?

It was bad. I would say that bad bad is bad bad bad. He is a threat to Our Democracy!

Thank you. I agree. Expert Number Three?

It was bad. He is a bad. The bad is bad. He criticized a policeman! That is bad! He is a threat to Our Democracy!

Thank you. I agree. Expert Number Four?

Bad. Bad. Bad bad. I will now scowl! (He scowls.) He is a threat to Our Democracy!

Thank you. I agree. All voices rise as one in denunciation of bad bad! I will now scowl as well! (He scowls.) I have scowled at the bad bad, a threat to Our Democracy! Let us all now scowl as one!

(They scowl.)

His marketable skill is that he can make this face

I have, ladies and gentlemen, mixed feelings about Donald Trump. He somehow treated Anthony Fauci as a trusted advisor, and he supported the lockdowns, and he scolded governors who re-opened their states before Saint Tony of the Corporate Temple of the mRNA said so. He signed the order that rushed “vaccines” into tens of millions of bodies without the inconvenience of extended testing, and he supported the alleged stimulus spending that poured digital representations of printing press money into the economy and started the inflationary wave.

But if you watched any of the Soviet television broadcast that followed Trump’s CNN town hall last night, you know why he remains a powerful cultural and political force. The obviously performative, double-standards-as-our-only-standards display of anger on cue is so spectacularly unattractive and tedious that it could make normal people rally around an actual turd if the actual turd was on the other side of the wokescolds.

What we all know, now, is that anything Trump says would produce that sanctimonious scolding noise as the immediate response. He is Folk Devil Number One, declaratively; if he says that he likes puppies and enjoys petting them, All Americans Are Outraged Tonight By Trump’s Dangerous And Extreme Puppy Rhetoric™.

It’s boring. That’s the whole thing.